Greetings and Happy New Year.
Reflections
In the early stages, faced with the unknowns of an unpredictable illness, most of us are still dealing with issues of acceptance. It's helpful to remember that whatever we resist, deplore, or condemn only creates more suffering. Sometimes when I felt besieged by the challenges of caretaking, I'd remind myself that even dementia was "in the natural order of things." Reflect on what helps to deepen acceptance for you.
Suggestions
It is human nature to close down and contract in the face of a serious illness. We may assume that friends will pull back and avoid us. This may be true occasionally, but most people want to respond when friends are in need. That's important to remember--especially for those who are hesitant to ask for help.
Seed Thoughts
May I cultivate compassion toward myself and others.
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About Me
- Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle
- Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle is a writer, therapist, and teacher. She taught at the Mind/Body Medical Institute, affiliated with Beth Israel and Deaconess Hospitals, where she pioneered how to bring meditation, yoga, and cognitive therapy into the medical domain to treat stress-related and chronic illness. She helped to develop one of the first training programs in Mind/Body medicine in the country and trained health professionals through Harvard Medical School. Her teaching and training are inspired by over thirty years of practice in psychology, Buddhist meditation, and the wisdom traditions.
3 comments:
As someone who also lived with a spouse going through chronic illness toward death, I applaud Olivia's wise words and encourage others to read them carefully and practice what she suggests.
My first wife had chronic liver disease and died while waiting for a liver transplant. Throughout her illness, she kept readjusting her concept of "normal," and because she did this, so did I. This preserved both her and my sanity.
I can also attest personally that accepting what is, looking at reality clearly and without filters, was a powerful way for Sara and me to create a better and more fulfilling life even in the midst of frequent hospital visits and increasing physical limitations. Neither of us always managed that well, but when we did, our lives improved.
Thank you, Olivia, for your blog and your book.
Hello Olivia, You'll probably remember me from Smith and Baldwin House. I'm living in Cambridge with my husband George who's in hospice care (at home), not because of Alzheimer's but nevertheless with a great deal that resonates with your experience and your fine book. Thank you for writing it.
Nancy (Edelman) Phillips
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